it’s never too late to bloom

October is coming to a close. I am struggling to keep my bearings as I take all this fall-ness in.

I cannot quite fathom how quickly my days are passing right now. I am working so hard to BE PRESENT and have the wherewithal to take stock of where I am.

Where I am is I have leaves that need to be raked!

And that’s just it: it shouldn’t be a struggle in the first place. But there are a bunch of things in my life that are slightly out of balance right now, and so I feel like I am treading water sometimes to keep up. To get by. To thrive. The biggest thing I suppose is that work/life balance. Blah blah blah. I know it is hard for everyone. I salute you if you feel like you have it figured out!!!

But I am having a really hard time with it lately.

I enjoy my work—it is work. It is sustaining. It is engaging. However, I am easily swept up in its all-consuming powers. This is not necessarily a good thing. I can easily get lost in work, and then I lose my sense of self. I take on too much, work too late. I can become a slave to the work tasks, the never-ending work anxiety, the constant push to produce and please.

And that’s just not right. My weeks in October were a hailstorm of work. Work during work. Work after work. Thinking about work. Dreaming about work. This is not what is best for me. I need to brainstorm how to achieve more of an equilibrium so that I don’t get burnt out or bitter. I will take any and all suggestions.

However, in the midst of all this work, work, work—something interesting is happening. I am beginning to understand better all that I have to offer. In new ways, too. I think it is easy for all of us to take for granted what we do each day, how we add value, how we help—especially when there is such a push to simply take on more and produce greater results.

So it is important to take a step back and slowly exhale and evaluate that day-in/day-out. It might just blow your mind.

It’s making me realize that while I am so busy scurrying around trying to get by, I can easily lose sight of the wonder that makes up the plenty. The ephemeral. The precious. The grounding goodness that makes you stop in your tracks and give thanks.

Here was my moment today… I was puttering around the garden checking out the last of my zinnias, when I saw it:

The most beautiful, perfect, solitary yellow dahlia. Nestled between my zinnias. Hovering about 5″ from the surface of the soil. I could have easily missed her and nearly did.

The lone dahlia from rows of seeds I planted back in May that did not come to fruition. And, yet, here she is. A survivor. Thriving. Dazzling in the autumn sunlight. A potent, powerful reminder of October’s theme—

It’s never too late to bloom.

Tags: autumn, dahlias, gardening, gratitude, zinnias

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 31st, 2010 at 11:48 pm and is filed under The Daily Balance, The Growing Season. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.